Confessions of a Former HamburgerJunkie

{February 2, 2007}   Turning Point in My Faith

I am now an Ordinated Minister. I can legally be called Reverend. I wanted to do this inorder to be able to perform legal Handfastings.

{January 29, 2007}   The Renfield Movement

As I mentioned on my 360 on Yahoo, I have gone back to the essay I had started to write almost 15 years ago on Vampires. My theories are based in pop-culture and how it mirrors mythology. Yes I know it has been done to death and then some in the last decade, but it is something that is so apart of my life that I need to finish it. Or in my case, rethink it rework it and then finish it. With the idea looming over my head of going back to university for a BA or Masters in Folklore/Cultural Studies, having this project would be the starting line. Not too mention now that the rest of my life seems to be falling off a cliff, I need something to keep me busy and grounded.

{January 12, 2007}   Temperance

I just got a new deck of tarots, The Vampire Tarot by Nathalie Hertz, and the second I opened them the Temperance card fell out of the deck. The odd thing about this whole situation is at first glance this deck didn’t grab me. I had been looking for a new deck online and this one kept popping up on every site I looked on. The cover art for the box just didn’t seem to jump out and slap me, but I took it as a sign to order it on the simple fact it was everywhere. Anyone who knows me knows I am a vampiricjunkie. So it seems almost natural I would get this deck. Question is why did I wait so long? The Temperance card in this deck is of a redhaired woman dressed in black leather pants and tattooed. She is pouring blood from one cup to another. The mean is =harmoney, serenity, fulfillment, sympathy, sweetness, true friendship, good news, a happy transformation. The Revised meaning is= unfocused thought, lack of modesty, incomprehension, instability, and lack of communication.
One of my best friends came over the other night and had me do her cards. She doesn’t believe in the occult at all, but thought the cards looked cool. She went through the entire deck pointing out which ones she thought looked like a rock star or old heavy metal album cover. I had to admit, I was right along with her on some of them. Maybe that is why in the end this deck really did grab me. It spoke to the rock n roll side of me, not just the vampiricside. When she got to the Temperance card she agreed that it suited me to a tee, not just the meaning but the look of her. Sometimes you don’t go to something it comes to you, and sometimes you need to come full circle. What we end up doing for the rest of the evening? Listened to old Black Sabbath and Alice Cooper

Entry for December 03, 2006
Well, it was something I have been dreading for years, but I needed to come clean with my mom about my life. I have been an occultist (pagan, witch, spellworker, wiccan whichever term you feel good with) for almost 20 years. Mom did not take it well.
At first she was afraid I was going to tell her I was pregnant or into chicks or something but when I told her that I am an occultist she broke down crying. (she was very relieved to find out I am straight but right away started with “when will you give me a grandchild then?” and “why can’t you find a husband?”)
So her way of dealing with it is to make really bad jokes about it. Everytime now when we talk she will say stuff like “Oh they better not piss you off, cause you’re a witch, put a hex on them” which is not feeling the greatest, but I suppose it’s her way of dealing with it.
Blessed it Be!

Entry for November 15, 2006
How do you see yourself when you get married?
I had a woman say to me awhile back that she pictured me with the whole white church wedding. Which is as anyone who knows me just not me. She was shocked when I said I would be fine with an Drive-thru-Love-Me-Tender-Vegas-Elvis wedding, and I am not even an Elvis fan. I am always fascinated by what other women decide to do with their wedding day. Most of the females in my family had the large frilly-white wedding that was planned since they could walk. I am interested in how people are viewing the celeb weddings we keep reading about in the gossip/news. I was reading just now about the wedding of Tom Cruise this weekend, and how some of the vows might include “a cat”. Seems silly to me, but then again so does white frilly dresses that you pay $400.000 for and wear once.

Entry for October 29, 2006
Why does things like this happen?

I just met the greatest guy ever, he’s charming, funny, smart, down to earth, and a priest. That’s right, He has devoted himself to his spiritual belief. He has in the last 8 months become my closest friend and I thought even husband material until I found out two days ago he has become a priest.

Why do the Goddess/God laugh at me this way? I thought I would never fall in love again after my ex left me, and just when I gave up I met this guy. Now I find out I can not have him.

Entry for July 17, 2006
So I have come now to my crossroads where I am saying, I want more! I hate, just hate the city I am in. Its the same city I have lived my whole life. Eventhough I have a diploma from college 10 years ago, the area I took doesnt really exist anymore, and have been outright laughed at for the college I went to. Was told a few years ago that the only thing that diploma is good for is maybe getting me past the entrence exam without having to take it. Great, thanks alot for the info. I dont really know what I want to do with the remainder of my life, other then I want to have a family of my own, and a house. So have been looking into university courses. There are three schools that I am considering applying to for the 2007 or 2008 fall. One in Montreal, one in Edmonton, and one in Vancouver. They all offer the same course -all listed under different names go figure- but the one in Vancouver also offers a second course that I wouldnt mind taking. Just not too sure how I feel about Vancouver. I have to ask myself why go back to school? My answers seem almost mundane. 1) It seems to be the thing one is suppose to do when trying to change one’s life. 2) It seems like an easy way to get out of this city, giving me a reason and location. 3) This time I would take a course that would lead to something more then just a diploma. 4) I would meet new fresh people . So that is where my turn has taken me on my path at the moment, and I am guessing its something I should be strongly considering, otherwise I wouldnt have come back to the thought so much in the last few months.

{December 4, 2006}   WHAT?

So I wanted something in pink, not too sure why. I think I tryed on almost all of these blogskins. Am I happy with this one? Not sure just yet. Maybe.
Okay so the point to all this is, I have been asking myself what would make a great blog? Not just a good one, but a great one. And I find myself coming back to the basics (women’s issues, gossip) and thought why not do one like that myself. I have been working on some of the company blogs (hardcore Vamps Prods.,) but was not feeling it as being comfortably mine to put my own stamp on so here we go. Who knows, if this goes the way I am hopeing, I might get rid of some of them and make it all one.
So your asking what makes me different from every other blog out there? Nothing. And there is nothing stopping you from flipping right past me either. Anyways that is all for the introduction. Smile!

et cetera